An epiphany, a realization, a bright big moment of clarity that’s what I had this past week and a half. It seems like through out the early years of higher education, high school, college and then off to the real world I somehow forgot how to slow down. It makes sense when you look back at it, you have so many homework assignments, maybe a part time a job, a sports team practice and games to get to and possibly organization meetings to attend. Your planners if they were like mine were highlighted, scribbled in and noted to each assignment so you wouldn’t forget and were always looking onto the next thing. The next pep rally, school holiday or the inevitable graduation. Then just like with shampoo, we lathered, rinsed and repeated with college. As a graduate it doesn’t necessarily feel “right” to only go to work everyday. One place, one mission, multiple tasks, one chair, one computer, one desk. We were so used to the eb and flow of high school hallways, social interactions changing with the different faces that crossed our paths in the campus quad. To just get over that and drive one route to work everyday and see the same people for multiple years has its perks but is also a HUGE change. Not to mention that as a student you were also always looking forward to the next class, new subject to study, new professor, and maybe new roommates with each coming year. I feel like for the past 2 years and 2 months since I graduated (really thats it!) I have been trying to keep up with the energy I had in school. I never feel like I am doing enough, completing enough, accomplishing enough. That’s because with every paper I turned in I felt accomplished and with every class I completed I felt proud and then invigorated and refreshed with the start of a brand new semester. Now each season has the same schedule and the only real change is the weather for once.
I didn’t realize until the past few days that my mind was taking longer to match pace with my life. I no longer need to work as fast or fit as much into my schedule as I once did. I don’t feel as accomplished anymore because of college papers and projects but that’s ok there are other ways to feel accomplished. I don’t know if I am working towards my dream career like I thought I was all through school and thats ok. I kept feeling like I was going to run out of time, like I had to figure out my passion, get into that industry, job-career path whatever and start my life to be proud of who I am and to feel accomplished every day. But I don’t and I won’t run out of time. Today I learned a really valuable lesson that I know I will build on for years to come. It’s not about finding a passion its about letting that passion find you. I have been moving so fast the past 2 years and 2 months that I feel like I just started to jog. Its like when you run a mile and the coach tells you to jog a bit and then walk before stopping to let your heart rate slow more naturally. I have been running trying to keep up with the pace I had through school with small spurts of directional inspiration, (maybe I’ll do marketing, maybe teach, lets pour yourself completely into that, no lets try construction again….) and in truth I need to just slow down. We are called human beings, not human doings. As silly as that may sound, I just realized that its okay to not do anything. I will be ok, it’s not a matter of right or wrong. If I don’t work really hard at some passion I think I’ve realized then I won’t be happy and then I won’t be successful and then I’ll get behind in my perfect career and downward spiral I go. Nope. Not today. The path is not that simple young grasshopper and the road is much longer than you perceive. There is no time limit on passion and it’ll find me. I have a great job right now working for a really fun small construction company in Plano! Only 21 people in the office, finally more women to hangout with (yay!) and its only 4 miles from my door! (dream come true). Although, not everyday am I thrilled to head to work or thrilled about the work I am doing but I know that this is just one piece of the puzzle and finding your perfect passionate career isn’t a race its a journey. In the mean time pick up skills, build relationships and be grateful for the job and for the people you meet a long the way. I am extremely grateful for the most sought after attribute of this job, the commute, the 7-9 minute drive has changed my life. Having driven an hour + over the past 2 years on mind numbing frustrating and depressing highways, this commute is unreal, a joy I can only describe as 3rd grade snow day kind of joy. Getting home from work with more energy than ever was so new to me. I finally had the time and the motivation to do something fun so, I decided to get back into Yoga. In an effort to help my mind and body get into a better rhythm, gain more flexibility and overall feel better I am going to go to Yoga for 1 year and attempt to post my progress here. I am hoping that I get absolutely hooked and love it. I went to my first session tonight and it was just as wonderful as I remember. The stretching felt relieving and the meditating was just what I needed. I can already tell that this has already begun to slow down my mind, calm my anxious tendencies and I am so grateful that I have reached the place I am in now. It’s not about the destination its about the journey. (legs crossed, hands up, lotus position……OHMMMM)
The mission: slow down, grow where I have been planted and water the hell out of it, be a committed Yogi and touch my toes with ease!
Heyyyy boo boo, anyone want a picnic basket!